tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21940558328643132402011-12-14T19:14:50.203-08:00rachelcarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16724245583283823182noreply@blogger.comBlogger11100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2194055832864313240.post-57156095294540662952007-01-04T01:09:00.001-08:002007-01-04T02:03:07.637-08:00<span style="font-family:georgia;color:#3333ff;">A difficult year, relationship ended, change of job and even country for me.</span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">Anxiety or depression : 4 am wakening, head aches, backaches, anger, despair, bitterness, pills,books, phone calls..........it went on and on?</span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">It doesn't really matter what label it takes. What does matter is what can be done to change it all.</span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">One thing that can be looked at as a step forward is connecting.</span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">Its important to at least attempt to connect or reconnect to the people or things that are contributing to your life. Doing this in a variety of areas will help to take away some of the intensity of the situations . </span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">I think examples will explain things better:</span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">*On starting my new job some of my coworkers made bitchin and questioning comments about my competence. Are they now my new best friends? NO, but I tell myself that focusing on my newness and unfamiliarity was an attempt by them to dilute there own anxieties in our ever stressful work place. I acknowledge there is an extra work gain when a new less experience person arrives. I tell myself I will learn just like they did and I will accomplish what is need in time.</span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">Its difficult but changing slowly, a connection is being made.</span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">*To stop what felt like a 24/7 focus on this new job I looked up my estranged sister of many years. Do we now spend out evenings sharing our deepest thoughts and making fanciful talk of a perfect childhood? NO, but I do send her an occasional card / email revealing a minor truth about my day, a lapse in my diet (again), or a lost purse on the train. I ask how she is and she replies the same.</span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">Its difficult but our relationship has moved in a small but significant way, we are reconnecting.</span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;"></span><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;">Further reading that I found useful 'The Dance of Intimacy' by Harriet Lerner, Harper Collins.</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/2194055832864313240-5715609529454066295?l=onyanerves.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>rachelcarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16724245583283823182noreply@blogger.com1